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Jokes of the Week: October 28th

Benjamin Tarasewicz | Oct 28 2015 | in Humor


What does a hungry mathematician eat? A square meal! Where do knights keep their armies? In their sleevies! Wha...

Breaking News: Test Next Period Really Hard, Expect the Worst

Ben Gelderloos | Oct 27 2015 | in Humor


The students of teacher Margaret Govnovski’s 7th period class have been hysterically cramming last minute information this lunch in preparation fo...

Jokes of the Week: October 21st

Benjamin Tarasewicz | Oct 20 2015 | in Humor


What happens when you cross an eagle and a skunk? You get an animal that stinks to high heaven! Which building has the most stories...

A Better Use for Bond Money

Noah Finer | Sep 23 2015 | in Humor


Dear administration, Around a year ago, voters passed BVSD’s capital construction bond issue putting $576.5 million to the district’s scho...

Stories That Will Make You Laugh

Benjamin Tarasewicz | Sep 23 2015 | in Humor


I am out of commission these days as I injured my knee. So, I’ve been hanging out in my “temporary nursing home” (resting on the sofas of the mai...

Leadership Speeches 101

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 16 2015 | in Humor

The end of the year is when many students run for leadership positions in various elitist clubs and organizations. A good speech is imperative to ...

Senior Motivation

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 12 2015 | in Humor

Second-semester senior Jacob Branut reported in a press conference yesterday that he had experienced a long-foreign fit of motivation to work in h...

New Report By Students Finds BVSD, Superintendent Horrible People, Root of All Evil

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 4 2015 | in Humor

At a press meeting on Tuesday, the We-Should-Not-Have-School-Today Association of Students (WSNHSTAS) released a report detailing the findings fro...

Bring Back Heelys!

Rachel Grushan | Feb 23 2015 | in Humor

The year is 2006. All-American Rejects are at their prime. Everyone has a Myspace account they haven’t told their parents about. The cafeteria is ...