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Stories That Will Make You Laugh

Benjamin Tarasewicz | Sep 23 2015 | in Humor

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I am out of commission these days as I injured my knee. So, I’ve been hanging out in my “temporary nursing home” (resting on the sofas of the mai...

Leadership Speeches 101

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 16 2015 | in Humor

The end of the year is when many students run for leadership positions in various elitist clubs and organizations. A good speech is imperative to ...

Senior Motivation

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 12 2015 | in Humor

Second-semester senior Jacob Branut reported in a press conference yesterday that he had experienced a long-foreign fit of motivation to work in h...

New Report By Students Finds BVSD, Superintendent Horrible People, Root of All Evil

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 4 2015 | in Humor

At a press meeting on Tuesday, the We-Should-Not-Have-School-Today Association of Students (WSNHSTAS) released a report detailing the findings fro...

Bring Back Heelys!

Rachel Grushan | Feb 23 2015 | in Humor

The year is 2006. All-American Rejects are at their prime. Everyone has a Myspace account they haven’t told their parents about. The cafeteria is ...

Happy President's Day

Ben Gelderloos | Feb 18 2015 | in Humor

Classmates, knights, unpatriotic-communist-freedom-haters repent! This weekend, this nation and school must celebrate two of the greatest days in ...

Study: Frozen Lake Probably Safe If You Can Throw Some Rocks On It

Ben Gelderloos | Jan 30 2015 | in Humor

Researchers clad in t-shirts for the warm weather announced on Monday that Viele Lake was probably safe to walk across after they conducted a thor...

Better 2015 Resolutions

Maya Jayachandra | Dec 15 2014 | in Humor

Everyone knows that New Year's resolutions are the most useless, ignored rules humans have ever come up with. In fact, if someone resolves to ...

Teacher Can’t Deny He Will Enjoy Giving Students Difficult Final

Ben Gelderloos | Dec 15 2014 | in Humor

Teacher Frank Hamilton of the Psychology Department openly declared Monday that he will find great pleasure in writing and administering an extrem...