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15 Things Vegans/Vegetarians Never Hear Enough Of

By Aleah Matthews-Runner in Opinion & Politics

So… where do you get your protein?

Magically enough, plants have protein too.

Do you eat twigs?

Sure, just like you eat the dirt that animals stand on.

Ugh, I had tofu/soy substitutes once, ew! So disgusting.

OMG, that was a thrilling story, you must be great at parties.

Plants have feelings too!

Show me a nervous system.

How’d you give up BACON?!

I decided I valued a pig’s life over a two-minute period of bliss.

Once I tried to go veg, but I gave it up after a week.

Oh that is so rough. You must have been lost without your daily serving of meat. I’m sure it changed you, didn’t it? #whatdoesntkillyou

Oh, do you mind if I eat meat in front of you?

Do you mind if I eat salad in front of you?

Is it because of your, like, religion?/Do you, like, worship cows?

I’m guessing you’ve never been to India.

I’d go veg but bacon’s, like, soooooo addicting.

JUST STOP WITH THE BACON ALREADY.

I went through that phase for about a month.

I didn’t choose the veg life, the veg life chose me.

How much money can I pay you to eat meat?

That depends. How much do you have? We’re both already wasting time, so why not waste money too?

So, hypothetically speaking, in a deserted island (alternatively: zombie/nuclear/computer/WWIII/dire swarm of bumble bees apocalypse) scenario...

Why does an apocalypse mean I have to stop being vegetarian? Did the zombies go for the plants first?

Oh, do you want some of this [meat/dairy item]-- oh, no, I forgot you can’t eat this! I’m so sorry! Oh, my god, I’m so insensitive sometimes! Do you want me to get you some water?

...stop.

So do you, like, feel the pain of the animals on a plate?

Um, no? Do you?

Oh, can you bring your own meal?

Okay...

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