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8 Ways to Stop the College Talk

By Sara McCrea in Humor


Photo courtesy to wikimedia commons

Hey seniors! Have you started to dread family events? Does talking to any of your parents’ friends, or any adults rather, only result in the same tedious conversation? The Royal Banner is here to help you out. Here are 8 foolproof ways to respond when someone asks you, “So how’s that college application process going?”

1. Start on a long rant about a topical issue on college campuses.

“Speaking of colleges, did you hear about those crazy clowns? Not to mention that Trump University scandal?”

The more controversial the more likely they are to get distracted and leave you alone.

2. Pretend you are only applying to fictional/mythical schools.

“I’m applying Early Decision to Hogwarts, but if I get deferred my back up is definitely that school from the 2005 Disney Channel classic, Sky High.”

3. Talk about how much you love collaging.

“I love collaging. In fact, all scrapbooking is my favorite hobby. There’s nothing like some good old magazine hunting.”

4. Pretend like you suddenly are overwhelmingly warm / cold

This one works especially if you’re hosting. It’s never rude to ask to get some fresh air, and if it’s an outdoor party don’t be afraid to suddenly acquire a life or death need for a glass of water.

5. Ask them about their children / pets!

“It’s going great! Now, remind me, how old is your turtle?”

6. Bring up celebrities and their college plans.

“Well I don’t know about myself, but did you know that Natalie Portman went to Harvard? And Ashton Kutcher has a degree in biomedical engineering?”

7.. Repeat everything they say.

“Oh, but how are your college applications going?”

8. Run!

If you are out of all other options, you can always pretend you have somewhere really, really important to be, or something is burning. And remember, it won’t be long until you will have some answers for all of these questions, so hang in there!

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