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An Update on Renovations

By Henry Larson in Humor - featured


A report released on Monday morning announced that a revolutionary kind of classroom tool is being introduced to the school.

New equipment, purchased with District bond money, will add a pen sharpener to each classroom.

“Huh? That sounds pointless,” said Junior Andrew Taylor.

However, he is mistaken, as with the introduction of pen sharpeners, each pen in the school will have a point.

Assistant Principal Jaclyn Van Buren commented on this addition to the school.

“Listen, I don’t know where you heard that, but it’s completely not true and anyone who believes this stupid story is pretty dull.”

However, with the new pen sharpeners, not a single pen at Fairview will be dull.

The sharpeners will come in two forms, mechanized and hand operated.

“Why is this a thing? I mean, it just seems like it hurts the writing utensil” said sophomore Julian Maizer.

This is not correct, as you can also use the sharpeners to relieve pent-up stress.

Regardless of whether you like this change or love it, it’s obvious that the pen sharpeners will bring new life to Fairview.

In the words of Taylor, “hey can I leave now?”





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