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BREAKING: Crisis Rocks the Community

By Henry Larson in Humor


BREAKING: Shocking news has struck the community as students reel from a critical decision made by a vital company to Boulder infrastructure. The company has released a statement regarding their closure of a critical line of products, the Vanilla Latte.


Starbucks has reportedly announced that their top selling product will be taken off of the shelves by late January.


Steven McDowell, spokesperson for the company, stated that“it is with great regret that we announce the termination of the Vanilla Latte. We understand that this will come as a shock to our loyal customers and we are preparing alternatives for those who need them.”


According to the Wall Street Journal, Starbucks’ stocks have plummeted by 46 points, reaching prices that have never been seen since the previous decade.


Key figures have spoken out renouncing the company. Governor Franklin said in a statement this afternoon that he is “severely disappointed in the company” and that he would “be sure to contact the persons involved and warn them of the consequences.”


No one is quite sure why this decision was put in place but we will be updating this story regularly, so we urge you to stay calm and keep checking back for more information on this developing story.

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