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Breaking News: Test Next Period Really Hard, Expect the Worst

By Ben Gelderloos in Humor


The students of teacher Margaret Govnovski’s 7th period class have been hysterically cramming last minute information this lunch in preparation for the upcoming test. The test is rumored to be really hard and everyone is probably going to fail no matter what.

“I studied a ton last night and I felt really comfortable about the material,” said junior Mary Anderson, ”But then Greg from 1st period told everybody that the test is really hard… I’m sorry, I can’t talk to you right now, I have to study so much in the next 20 minutes.”

Information of the difficult test over unit two was indeed leaked after first period today by senior Greg Franderson and spread quickly afterwards. And you know Greg is really smart and usually does well so, you know, it must be super bad.

“It was like a combination of a hurricane, a fire and a tornado,” said Franderson at lunch. “It really is a miracle that I was able to survive. Half of the stuff I don’t think she even taught in class and I had no idea she would include questions on the lab.”

“Did you say there was stuff on the lab?” Anderson interrupted. “Darn! I’m ruined!”

With only five minutes left in sixth period lunch before the test, previously determined students started accepting their inevitable fate.

“Guys, I’m definitely going to fail and there’s nothing I can do about it,” junior Jules Siscilia said. “Oh what a sad sad day it is.”

Despairing but probably not untrue talk circulated of failing the course, working terrible jobs for the rest of their lives, and one day dying a disgraced and unrespected failure.

“Next period I shall stare death in the eyes, write the name and date, and suffer through the test that I know will be so hard,” said Mary Anderson. “Ooh! Maybe she’ll put a curve on the grade.”

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