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Class Questions Sanity After Seven "D" Answers in a Row on Multiple Choice Test

By Evan Derby in Humor


One student's scan-tron from the disastrous quiz.

Students taking Ms. Clemson’s Chapter 3 reading test last Friday had their sanity called into question as they cryptically encountered seven “D” answers in a row.

According to onlookers, the test started innocuously, with each student mumbling about having to take another darned multiple choice test on the material. However, as the testing period progressed, looks of twisted horror slowly crept onto the faces of the testers as they discovered the reality of their situation.

“I started wondering if I’d really read the book at all,” one student told the Royal Banner. “If I really even knew how to read. If I really even knew how to... ingelesez hitz. Liburu galdetegiak hartu nahi dut… [grunting noises].”

The eight question quiz, initially thought to be an easy 100%, drove some students to insanity upon their hideous discovery of the answers’ alignment, which differed so wildly from a standard, random arrangement. Several were specifically described as having gone into spastic fits of hysteria after completing question eight, whose answer, according to the answer key, was actually “B”.

Since the conclusion of the period, another student had lapsed into a delirious fever, incessantly pretending to pencil in answers on imaginary multiple-choice answer sheets while rocking herself back and forth in the fetal position.

Despite the state rendered on the students by the test, many scored perfectly, as predicted. However, few can forget that hallowed period in the 800 hallway, during which so many strange things happened.

“It was pretty funny,” said Ms. Clemson, with a hearty laugh. “That’s what happens when you blow off the reading.”

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