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Don't Trust The B In Apartment 23 is really b

By Matt Sparkman in Arts & Culture

ABC debuted a new sitcom in the Wednesday 8:30 slot called Don't Trust The B---- In Apt 23 directly following the tremendously successful Modern Family.

The plot revolves around the sadistic Chloe (played by Krysten Ritter) who's life has been jaded from years of living in downtown New York. Here's where I started to give the show a chance. Seinfeld's characters were all jaded New Yorkers and somehow extremely endearing. Jerry, George, Elaine and Cosmo Kramer were some of America's favorite sitcom characters from the last 30 years.

Then I started actually watching. Don't Trust The B opens en media res, showing the climax first (Chloe seducing her new roommate June's wandering boyfriend as June walks in). I'm certainly not against en media res, it can be a really effective way to tell a story, but in the case of this silly sitcom, it flops.

Seinfeld co-creator Larry David succeeded in making his characters both evil and lovable. This is where Don't Trust The B fails. There isn't anything endearing about Chloe. Her ex-boyfriend, James Van Der Beek (yes the Dawson's Creek actor plays himself in Don't Trust the B) insists that Chloe is both caring and misguided, but she spends the show selling "pills that make you focused and slutty", giving away June's things and generally making her life a living hell. There's one problem. It's not funny. Nothing Chloe did in the first episode was funny.

The show ends with Chloe convincing June that her boyfriend was unfaithful anyway, and that this was the only way that she could prove it. June also shows a certain resolve around Chloe, suggesting that June is different than all of Chloe's previous roommates, and that maybe things will work out after all.

Sadly, I'll never know, because I'm never going to waste 30 minutes watching Don't Trust The B again.

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