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Google User Leaves Bad Review for Fairview

By Nate Bilbrey in Humor - featured

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A Screen Shot of the Review

Students were astounded Monday morning to find a one-star review of Fairview on Google. This review, written by Cole Kliment, was posted over the weekend while students were not watching.

The review states, “je m'appelle Roberto.  this school is built like a prison bruh” This shocking text consists of two sentences, one English and one French.

“I thought it was a joke at first,” said junior Ruben Richardson, “but then someone yelled in the library that the review was serious.”

The English part, which states that the school is built like a prison, is refuted by many students. “I don’t think that [Fairview] is built like a prison,” said Junior Kalyn Stevens, “I just think it’s built to keep people inside of their classes. No one can climb out of any windows in the middle of class because there are none!”.

The French part of the review was analyzed by a hyperpolyglot, a person who knows 25 languages, Emma Bernard of the University of Japan.  The part of the review translated says “my name is Roberto” according to Bernard. “Due to my 2 months of experience, my professional opinion is that this person's name isn’t really Roberto,” said Bernard, “Through hours of research, I noticed that it says that the name of the reviewer is Cole.”

Witnesses state that a group of freshmen in the library before school were the first people to discover the review. One of the freshmen was looking on their smartphone and yelling, “Yoooo duuudddees look at this,” before a crowd gathered around the phone. Later, every screen in the library had the review open, and people were discussing what kind of human would write such a review.

The Tuesday after the discovery, students gathered outside the front of a school in protest before school. The most common signs said, “me llamo John” showing against the French part of the review, and other signs displayed five orange stars, in the style of Google reviews.

“We’re protesting against the bad review online. What we wanted to accomplish was show that Fairview is better than one star. It’s worth all the stars in the world,” said Frank Makazar, the protest organizer.

Students are now organizing on social media in order to launch a counteroffensive. The most prominent idea is to write good reviews for Fairview on Google.

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