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Jefferson County: Disgraceful Student Behavior

By Maya Jayachandra in Humor

Jefferson County students made national news days ago when they walked out of schools in protest of the conservative school district stating that AP U.S. History classes have started to paint the good ol’ US of A in a negative light.

This is an absolute disgrace. How dare these kids exercise their constitutional rights and question authority? News anchor Gretchen Carlson, pride and joy of FOX News, was right on the money when she astutely asked, “What’s up with these punks?”

Our great country was founded on principles of obeying authority and being complacent. If these students had spent two minutes paying attention to the district-mandated American history curriculum, maybe they would have realized that any civil disobedience in the history of America resulted in nothing but tragedy.

Other than, well, y’know, the American Revolution. How the U.S. came to be. The entire reason for our existence sans teatime and primetime British television. But that’s hardly a topic of importance in the history of our great nation, and these kids must have gotten the idea of rebellion somewhere else.

We have to teach these kids that America is the be-all-and-end-all of a good country. The best country. The only country in the world that really matters, to be honest.

As Carlson, paragon of wisdom and all that FOX News stands for, actually said on public television, "Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for freedom of speech and the ability to gather and state your claim. But, quite frankly, if you don’t like it here, and you have a problem with promoting the basic freedoms that men and women have died for, protesting for the rest of us and protecting us, then get out!"

Never has this incredible pillar of culture and peace we call home done anything terrible in its life. Slavery, the imperialist genocide of indigenous peoples, Vietnam, that one time we dropped an atomic bomb on civilians... water under the bridge!

You should be able to ignore the countless screw-ups of America and continue to cry "support our troops" without understanding what you're supporting them for. Otherwise you can go live on the moon, for all Gretchen Carlson cares.

If U.S. History teachers continue inaccurately teaching that America made gigantic mistakes that ruined a lot of people’s lives and (even more inaccurately) that it would be catastrophic to repeat those mistakes, where will we be as a nation?

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