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Pun Shortage Causes Protests

By Kate Martin, Anya Aidun and Chloe Cope in Humor


A student protester at the Wert rally

A lack of fresh and diverse Fairview puns has caused school-wide protests, as well as calls for new leadership among those responsible for the pun shortage.

Recently, students and staff have been bravely speaking out, acknowledging the lack of simple and stupid humor.

 “There are only, like, three puns,” said junior Annie Wallis. “There are a couple ones like ‘take back the knight’, but not much else.”

Indeed, the homonymous relationship between the words ‘knight’ and ‘night’ has been the focus of most Fairview puns. Such puns simply take a sentence, such as ‘it’s night time’,  and use the word ‘knight’ instead.

“We just thought it was funny that ‘night’ and ‘knight’ sound the same, so we try to use that in a lot of our puns,” said Harry Knu, president of the Fairview Pun Club.

Another common pun plays on the school’s name and its proximity to the Flatirons.

“There is also ‘that’s a fair view’ when you point at the mountains,” said freshman John Batkiss. “I don’t know any others though.”
Those three or four puns reappear again and again at football games, dances and spirit days, but students and staff are starting to look for more.
“When you just constantly play off of the whole ‘knight’ versus ‘night’ thing, it gets kind of old,” said potions teacher Norman Young. “They are basically all the same.”

In the wake of several similar prom themes over the past few years, senior have been hoping for a more original theme.

“All of the themes have been the same,” said senior Jessica Kale. “We’ve had a Knight at the Museum, a Knight on the Titanic, a Knight in Hollywood, and it’s just not fun anymore.”

This thirst for newer and different puns has caused protests against the pun club and calls for new leadership in the wake of Knu’s failure.

“Knu is no longer fit to provide our community with humorous phrases,” said Young. “There is currently a movement to get him impeached or something. We’ll see how that goes.”

Peaceful protests have been led by unhappy members of the club, such as sophomores Niel Kneel and Fiona Heckman. These include a boycott of the current unpopular puns and rally in the student center for the first female Pun Club presidential candidate, Keller Wert.

“The Pun Club’s duty is to make Fairview laugh, and occasionally groan, but right now we are failing,” said Heckman.

Kneel said that so far the protests have been peaceful, and he hopes to keep it that way.

“We don’t want trouble,” said Kneel. “We just want change.”

Heckman feels more strongly about the issue, and has considered more radical solutions, such as anarchy.

“It’s time for Knu to go beddy-bye,” she said. “It’s knight time for him.”

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