The Do's and Don'ts of the Under(wear)world
By Dvir Goldman
The underwear section of any clothing store is an awkward place for anyone. The unspoken social code and common courtesy is sometimes too much. Here are the do's and don'ts of the “under”world: Both Genders:
- Do promptly leave the store if you see someone you know. You do not want to be buying underwear next to your math teacher (probably).
- DO NOT LOOK ANYBODY IN THE EYE. Look someone in the eye, while licking your lips, and they will probably run away.
- Always say that you are buying for a “friend.” Guys:
- Do not touch the mannequins. You can look, just don’t touch. (But if you just have to touch, make sure nobody is looking.)
- DO NOT stare at any picture of a model for a duration of more than 3.5 seconds. Your girlfriend will catch you.
- Don’t go to a Victoria’s Secret. Remember, you are a guy. Gals:
- Do make direct eye contact with the person measuring you. (Also do not say, “Awww, really?”)
- Don’t call your mother for advice. (“It has to be supportive and comfortable." "Shut up, Mom.")
- Do not bring your father.