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There's nothing wrong with normal names

By Sharone Goldman and Shoshana Pollack in Opinion & Politics

So guys. Beyonce and Jay Z just had a kid. Guess what they named her? Drum roll please. Blue Ivy Carter. That’s right, they weren’t happy with just one bizarre name, they had to stick on a type of poisonous plant. Celebrities should not be allowed to procreate if they are going to name their kids something like “Diva Thin Muffin” (Frank Zappa’s lucky little girl)  or “Apple”. What kind, Gwyneth Paltrow, a Macintosh? By giving them ridiculous names, these celebrities set their kids up for a whole lot of teasing. As for their future, such insanely unique names may not bode well in the child’s chosen profession. I mean, can you imagine a lawyer named Rocket Rodriguez? The top five worst names?

5) Tu Morrow- Rob Morrow Really? Really? I mean, we get that your last name is Morrow. But it seems like that would be a reason not to name your child Tu. Puns are the lowest form of humor, buddy. 4) Moon Unit- Frank Zappa Frank Zappa obviously wants his child’s name to sound like a spaceship. If you wanted the child to be an astronaut, couldn’t you have given her a more subtle hint? One she wouldn’t have to live with for the rest of her life? 3) Moxie Crimefighter- Penn Jillette This name would be excellent for a low-budget spy sitcom. But a person? Not so much.

2) Jermajesty- Jermaine Jackson Your Majesty King Jermajesty. That’s all we have to say.

1) Audio Science- Shannyn Sossamon Come on, is this a child or a pretencious post electronica prog-rock band? We’re not a hundred percent sure.

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