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Witnesses Claim Spot of Right Angle Corner in the Halls of Fairview

By Ben Gelderloos in Humor


The Royal Banner confirmed with witnesses yesterday that they believe they spotted a rare 90-degree angle corner along the walls of Fairview. If this is true, it would be the first alleged sighting since the blurry photograph that was taken in 1968.

“I swear man! I was just walking along and then out of the corner of my eye I saw it just sitting there,” said Frank Mahaja who claims to be the first person to have seen the oddity. “I couldn’t believe my eyes at first when I saw those perpendicular walls.”

Though still not confirmed, the discovery has been hailed as the equivalent of finding the mythic city Eldorado.

“Never did I ever think that I would live to see this day,” said Junior Maddy Johnson. “Who knows what else could be out there? Ancient treasure, the secret to immortality? Maybe even Leprechauns?”

Mahaja and other students claimed to have seen the spectacle around 1:20 p.m. in the 200 hall although testimonies differ as to the true location.

“I remember it was just five minutes after I had enjoyed looking at the right angle on the clock and then a spectacle of light shined onto a corner… it was the corner,” another witness John Rumshank said.

School administrators have warned students to exercise extreme caution if they spot the angle again as it is still unknown what mythical powers the object may or may not possess.

“It is entirely possible that we have discovered a new sentient being,” said administrator Jason Doberman. “With something that is so foreign and unknown, it is very possible that it could start using magic and shooting lightning bolts at us.”

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