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Ben Gelderloos - Alumnus

Leadership Speeches 101

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 16 2015 | in Humor

The end of the year is when many students run for leadership positions in various elitist clubs and organizations. A good speech is imperative to ...

Senior Motivation

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 12 2015 | in Humor

Second-semester senior Jacob Branut reported in a press conference yesterday that he had experienced a long-foreign fit of motivation to work in h...

New Report By Students Finds BVSD, Superintendent Horrible People, Root of All Evil

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 4 2015 | in Humor

At a press meeting on Tuesday, the We-Should-Not-Have-School-Today Association of Students (WSNHSTAS) released a report detailing the findings fro...

Student Council Decides Senior Song

Ben Gelderloos | Mar 4 2015 | in Student News

After months of trying to orchestrate a vote among the senior class for the senior song, Student Council has decided that the senior class song wi...

Happy President's Day

Ben Gelderloos | Feb 18 2015 | in Humor

Classmates, knights, unpatriotic-communist-freedom-haters repent! This weekend, this nation and school must celebrate two of the greatest days in ...

Study: Frozen Lake Probably Safe If You Can Throw Some Rocks On It

Ben Gelderloos | Jan 30 2015 | in Humor

Researchers clad in t-shirts for the warm weather announced on Monday that Viele Lake was probably safe to walk across after they conducted a thor...

Teacher Can’t Deny He Will Enjoy Giving Students Difficult Final

Ben Gelderloos | Dec 15 2014 | in Humor

Teacher Frank Hamilton of the Psychology Department openly declared Monday that he will find great pleasure in writing and administering an extrem...

Why People Are Interested in Zombies

Ben Gelderloos | Nov 14 2014 | in Arts & Culture

This year, many students dressed up as the undead for Halloween and as the Walking Dead enters its 5th season, it is hard to not notice the large ...

Senior spends Veterans Day studying for CMAS Test

Ben Gelderloos | Nov 12 2014 | in Humor

Senior Jarvis McTilton breathed a sigh of relief last Monday when he remembered that Tuesday’s Veterans Day would give him a few more precious hou...